


Say More Than Any Words

by CaptainVirtue



Category: Figure Skating RPF
Genre: F/M, Fluff, Happy Ending, Implied/Referenced Cheating, Light Angst, Mentions of [redacted], Unplanned Pregnancy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-18
Updated: 2019-02-18
Packaged: 2019-10-30 20:11:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,457
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17835377
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CaptainVirtue/pseuds/CaptainVirtue
Summary: It wasn’t supposed to happen. Not like this. Not right now. Not when they… she doesn’t even know anymore what’s going on between them, or what label to put on it, but she does know it wasn’t supposed to happen when they’re like this.





	Say More Than Any Words

**Author's Note:**

> Everything found here it's just a fragment of my imagination, because I don't actually know a thing about their lives.
> 
> This is written for my friend Rachel.
> 
> Hope you enjoy!

_Shit, shit, shit._

It’s all she can think of. _SHIT_. Because _it_ wasn’t supposed to happen. Not like this. Not right now. Not when they… she doesn’t even know anymore what’s going on between them, or what label to put on it, but she does know it wasn’t supposed to happen when they’re like _this_.

She doesn’t even know where he is, for fuck’s sake. Is he back in Canada? Is he in some place far, far away? Is he _there_? She doesn’t know because they haven’t talked or seen each other in what feels for years, even thought it’s just been one month. When _it_ happened.

She knows she could just call him to find out where he is, and to ask him to meet so they can talk, but just the idea terrifies her. How can she call him to tell him _that_? Right now when their ways seem to be taking the most different pats they have ever taken, right now when she’s 50% certain (70% on a bad day) that he wants to leave her behind, in a past that they shared for 21 years, but past at least.

She knows she has to, she can’t hide this forever, but fuck if it doesn’t scares her to death.

 

* * *

 

As it turns out, she didn’t have to call him to know where he is. It’s his mother who tells her. And no, she didn’t call Alma, because if she can’t talk to _him_ , much less any member of his family, much less his mother.

However life, the universe, or whoever, wanted to put Alma on her way. So be it.

He’s back home, she said. He’s been helping around the rink. He misses her. Or so his mother said. She doesn’t know anymore.

But now she knows he’s home. And she needs to tell him, now, before she loses her strength she’s gathering from god knows where.

And so she calls him.

 

* * *

 

When she called, and he told her he’s at his own home, that she can come over anytime, she’s 10000% certain that he didn’t have any clue what she’s about to say. He just knows she wants to see him and talk, and she could hear a somehow light tone on his voice, even if it seemed a bit forced. But she does gives him points for trying.

She just doesn’t know how much he’ll want to keep on trying when she tells him.

 

* * *

 

He opens the door almost immediately, as thought he’s been waiting next to the door for her to arrive.

“Hello, kiddo.” He sounds ever more light, and it’s comforting, even if she almost breaks down at the sound of his voice, and at the nickname.

 _Kiddo_. Indeed, “ _hello, kiddo_ ”.

She replies with a simple “hi”, and nothing else. No kiss on the cheek, nor the hug she’s expected to give her best friend after not seeing him for a month. She wants to, but she doesn’t. If he wants to hug her, he doesn’t say or does anything, either.

He lets her in, and starts to tell her he’s been working a little harder to finish his house. She tells him he’s been doing great and refrains from asking _why_ he’s working harder on it. She’s afraid of what the answer could be.

Before he can go on about renovations, she turns to see him, and her face must express determination to talk, because he shuts up right away and asks, “What did you want to tell me, Tess?”.

At least it wasn’t kiddo again.

“Before I tell you, I just want to say that I’m going to speak, and I don’t want you to interrupt me until I’m done, okay?”, she tells him with a tone that says there’s no room for argument.

And so he nods. And she talks.

“I want you to know that I didn’t plan any of this. I wouldn’t had done that, ever, and certainly not right now when you’re with her, when things between us are so fragile. I know you probably won’t like it, because you’re with her, and you probably already started thinking you’d have this with her in the future, and you still can. Nothing has to change between the two of you, if you don’t want to be involved. In fact, I’m certain you’re going to hate me and will never want to see me again…”

“T, wh—“

“I’m pregnant”, she blurts out, and he stands still as though someone paralyzed him. She cannot blame him, she can just stare at him. And so she does, for what feels forever, but in truth it’s been two minutes.

Two minutes during which he has just stared at her face, down at her still flat stomach, and back at her face. He has opened his mouth a couple of times, but no words have come out. She doesn’t blame him for that either.

Then words finally leave him.

“I’m sorry…”, he starts and she stops him. “You don’t have to be sorry, really. I know it wasn’t planned and I’m not asking…”, but he stops her, too. “You said you were going to talk and that I couldn’t stop you, so now it’s my turn”, she accepts in silence. “I’m sorry, but did I hear you saying I’m going to hate you? How can you even think that? Yes, I know our situation isn’t ideal right now, but come on. I thought you knew me better than that. I couldn’t ever hate you, not for anything, and certainly not for _this_. Tess, you’re pregnant, with my baby. You don’t even have to tell me it’s mine, because I know, and I know we shouldn’t have done it the day of the photoshoot, but I cannot feel sorry. Not if it lead to this”.

In all honestly, Tessa Virtue feels as thought she’s living in an alternative universe in this very moment. She heard him talk, saw him move his mouth, recognizes his voice, but she just can’t believe the words she heard. Yes, they sound an awful lot like the Scott she knows he is. Kind, honest, full of love and trust for her. But, she didn’t expect it to be like this. Not after how the last couple of months, not after _her_ , not after the way he has behaved towards Tessa, his family, his friends, and _himself_. Not after the way he left her in that hotel in Toronto, after having fucking her as if his life depended on it, only to not being able to look at her in the eyes afterwards.

“Aren’t you going to say anything?”, it’s his voice that pulls her out her thoughts. It seems he’s not the only one that went speechless for two minutes.

“I’m just… you caught me out of ward. To be honest, I thought you were going to put on a fight, to question me, to not even believe it’s yours”.

The chuckle he gives her is the most dry he has ever heard from him. And that’s saying something after 21 years.

“I guess that was to be expect, eh? I can’t feel offended that you thought so low of me. After all, I’ve been behaving like the biggest asshole towards you, and you’re the one who deserves it the least”, he says, and stares at her. And she stares at him.

This time it’s not another two minutes before she speaks. “So, what do you want to do? Because I don’t want this to interfere with any plan you might have with… or make you uncomfortable. You tell me how much you want to be involved, and whatever you choose will be okay with me”.

He gives her yet another dry chuckle.

“Plans _with_? I don’t have any plans  _with_. The last couple of months have been one reckless decision after the other with with. To be honest, it has felt a hell lot like it did after Sochi, with the difference that _with_ goes along with it, instead of trying to stop me like Kaitlyn did”, he says with a sad smile, and she feels her heart aching for him. She never wanted him to feel like he did back then (and if she wasn’t so focused on what he’s saying, she would have giggle at hearing him refer to her as _with_. Silly man).

“You know how much I hated myself back then, and it’s all I’ve felt, along with disappointment at myself for going back to those ways, and for the way I’ve been treating you, the most important person in my life. So I told _with_ ”, this time, Tessa giggles, and he flashes a tiny, but sincere smile, “that I was getting tired of partying, of traveling just to party some more. She asked me what I wanted, and I told her I didn’t know what I wanted. She thought I needed time back home, so I could figure out what I wanted. If I wanted to be back home, or if I wanted to keep her ‘waisting her time’, and that’s why I’m here”.

Oh, _oh_. Tessa wasn’t expecting that in the sightless, but before she can say anything, Scott continues “I’ve been home for almost a week, and you know what’s the only thing I’ve wanted? It’s not going back to her, nor staying here forever either. It’s you, T. I’ve been so close of calling you a fucking lot of times. I’ve been working hard on this place just because I want to show it to you. You’re all I want. You, and now that baby you’re carrying.”

 _Oh_. She wasn’t expecting that either. Not even in her best case scenarios she thought he would say that. But at the same time, it’s all she ever wanted to hear.

 

* * *

 

It’s been two days, and now Scott is ready to fly _there_. And Tessa is sitting next to him while they wait for his fly to be called.

 

The day back at his home, after he had proclaimed her (and the baby) were everything he wanted, she had thought that, even if it was everything she wanted to hear, it was still too much. Because she still was afraid he wouldn’t want this, because she still didn’t know where he stood with _her_. She had only said “That’s a relief”, and hoped he took the hint she was overwhelmed. He did. He always did. And so he started asking her about the baby (it’s not quite a baby yet, Scott.), about if she wanted to keep it (of course.) (“good, me too”, he had said), about if she had already seen the baby on a sonogram (I did, it looks like a seed. I have an appointment in two weeks, if you want to come.) (He wants to.)

On the next day, he showed up at her home in London and started talking about all the things he had found on mommy blogs and on a great book he dowloaded. It was endearing as hell, and yet, still overwhelming because she just didn’t know where he stood with _her_ , or with _them_ , for that matter.

And so Tessa decided to touch on the topic that was the easiest, the one that didn’t involved her own feelings. She asked him what he was going to do about her relationship with… _her_. The answer was quick. He said he was going to break up with her, that he was done feeling twenty six and stupid again. He said a phone call should be enough, that he could ask for the things he had left there to be sent by mail. She said he should go there, and at least tell his girlfriend he had cheated on her with his best friend, and that now he was going to have a baby with said best friend as a result of it.

She said it was the honorable thing to do. In truth, it was some sort of test. She wanted him to go there, and see her now that he knew, because she wanted him to see both sides, to see he could still have a life without the kind of commitment Tessa was bringing into his life. Wanted him to see if, instead, Tessa and their baby were all he wanted. She just hoped it was the last.

After he had accepted, she offered to go with him to Toronto, and then drive him to the airport. She said she wanted to be nice with him. She just really wanted to spend as much time next to him as possible, in case he decided to not come back.

 

She’s still sitting next to him when the voice at the airport interrupts his chat about all the fruits the baby will be compared to, and says his fly is to be boarded. She smiles at him, he smiles at her, and this time she hugs him indeed for the first time in ages (or in a month, but it felt way, way longer for her).

She lets him go.

He says he’ll be back tomorrow as soon as the sun rises.

She says _they_ will be waiting for him.

He gives her a wide smile and turns to leave.

She just hopes the sun brings him back to her.

 

* * *

 

 

The sun, as it is, doesn’t bring him back to her. Because he’s back in her room even before her alarm goes off at 6 am.

When she senses her bed move, she thinks she’s dreaming. When she hears him whispering her name, she still thinks she’s dreaming. When she truly feels his hand on her shoulder, she wakes up with her heart beating too fast from both the scare, and the sight of him that always seems to do that to her heart.

“What on earth are you doing here?”

“Good morning to you, too, T.”

“Scott…” it’s the morning, the sun is nowhere to be seen yet. He knows better than anyone not to mess with her so early.

“Sorry. It’s just, it was too easy, you know? I went and told her, and… well. She laughed, she said she knew deep inside I would always go back to you. She then threw the remaining of my stuff at my face and said she didn’t want to see me ever again”, he says it in a tone that makes him sound way younger, but more mature at the same time. She remembers his speech about being tired, and she gets it.

“That easy?”, it’s all she can say.

“That easy. I then went to the airport and asked if they had an early fly. The rest is story, and here I am”, he finishes with a tiny smile.

“Here you are”, she mirrors his expression.

There he is.

 

* * *

 

And there he still is.

It’s been months, and Tessa still wonders sometimes if this is a parallel universe. Because he has been there all this time, and it’s been wonderful.

Of course, everyone knows already. They told their families when she reached the three months, and the “we are not together like that, but we’re doing this together” were excessive, but worthy just by seeing the look on their mothers’ faces. Pure bliss doesn’t even cover it.

The rest of the world knows, too. Although not everything. She had posted a picture to her instagram and twitter of an onesie that read “Home Is Canada”, tagged him, and left it like that. She has tone down her sponsorships, she hasn’t given any interview. He hasn’t, either. He took his own instagram to post the same picture, and too left it like that. The tour has been delayed, of course. They both know their fans must be asking a million questions, and they know they will have to come clean, but not yet. At least, on Tessa’s side, not until they come clean with each other.

Because yes, it’s been wonderful to have him there on this scary adventure called pregnancy. It’s been crazy, but great to have him living with her (he’s staying in one of her spare rooms, thank you every much). It’s been endearing hearing him talking to her belly, telling the baby (yes, it’s now a baby, Scott) (it’s the size of a banana, T) many stories about _how mom and dad met so many years ago_. It’s been a bit exasperating but still adorable to see him buying everything on every baby section he comes across. But, it’s also been frustrating how they don’t talk about them. They still behave like best friends, like partners, but nothing else.

She wants more. She thinks he wants more. But either of them says anything, and so the world will have to wait for answer until they have the answers for themselves first.

 

* * *

 

The kisses start on a big day, one of the biggest they’ve had during the pregnancy.

The doctor tells them she hopes their baby will finally let them see their sex. Of course, the doctor doesn’t hope as much as they do.

Their baby lets them. _She_ lets them. “It’s a girl”, the doctor says with a wide smile and Scott thinks he has never heard better words in his life. His baby is a girl. He’s having a daughter, _Tessa_ is giving _him_ a daughter. And so he does the only thing he can think of in a moment like that. He kisses Tessa as if his life depended on it. He looks at her afterwards with tears in his eyes, to find her eyes look the same, and whispers a “thank you” that’s barely loud enough for her to hear, but one she feels deep in her soul.

They’re too blissful to think about the kiss that day, and the next, and the next. They don’t talk about it, nor about the random kisses he starts giving her when he leaves or comes back from the rink, or about the ones she gives him when he’s cooking, or talking to their daughter ( _their daughter_ ), or feeling her kicking.

The kisses continue to happen for the next months. They change their intensity, sometimes are accompanied with touches and moans (even if they don’t take it further than that).

Still, they don’t talk about it.

Tessa figures they say with those kisses more than they could say with words. He, even if they don’t talk about it, thinks the exact same thing.

Soulmates, and all that.

 

* * *

 

They’re in the middle of one kiss, when she thinks she peed herself.

She didn’t. Her water just broke.

(“It’s ten days early, Scott!”

“Maybe she’s just too tired of hearing us kissing”

“Shut up”)

It all happens too fast. In the blink of an eye, they are at the hospital. In the next, she’s pushing, screaming, and cursing (it didn’t all happen in two blinks, as Tessa will love to correct Scott whenever he tells this story in the future).

Then, she’s there.

Their daughter.

Lillian Elizabeth Moir, born on October 7th.

And she is perfect.

Scott still thinks that hearing Tessa crying and laughing at the same time is one of his favorite sounds in the world. _One_. Because this? His daughter crying for the first time? No sound can compare to that (He will think the same every time she laughs. Tessa will agree, of course).

She’s impossibly tiny in his arms, and when she opens her little eyes to look at him (they’re dark blue, and all he can do is pray they turn to be the same color as Tessa’s), his whole world resumes to this. To his daughter in his arms. To _their daughter_ in his arms.

He kisses Tessa then, and thanks her for the millionth time. It’s not enough, won’t ever be enough, but he will spend the rest of his life doing so.

“No, thank you. Thank you for coming back to me, for choosing us. For loving me, and for loving her already so much”, she’s too overwhelmed by love that she can barely let out the words, but she needs him to know.

“There was never a choice, T. It was always you, it has been you for 22 years, and it will be you for the next 22, and the next.”

(He will say similar words during their vows some months down the road.

He will thank her again a million times when their son is born.

They will share countless kisses during the next 22 years, and the next, and won’t talk about most of them. After all, they both were right, and after so many years, their kisses (and their two kids) say more than any words could.)

**Author's Note:**

> If you made it all the way here, I once again say I hope you enjoy, and that I'm sorry if there are any big mistakes.


End file.
